And away we go
One man, 101 goals, 1001 days to complete themIs ‘forgive’ the right word?
I contacted my ex-girlfriend on Friday for the first time since she broke up with me in December, just before I started this project. It was obviously an issue that was at the front of my mind, as evidenced by the fact that two goals at the top of my list include “find love again” and “forgive ex-girlfriend.” Our conversation via Facebook wall posts has been very perfunctory. There was no animosity in the break-up, and it was mostly my doing that we didn’t speak for four months. Any mention of her was painful, and I just couldn’t imagine being around her or talking with her and no longer being able to express my feelings for her. So I’m wondering now if there’s any real forgiving to be done. Seeing her picture still gives me an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel like by this point though I’m making too big a deal out of it all, or at least that’s what it seems like people think when I tell them about it. I have yet to meet anyone like her, with the exception of one person, who is already in a serious relationship and doesn’t seem to be incredibly friendly with me anyway. Still, as I open up lines of communication with my ex, I hope to eventually talk about our relationship, and maybe get an answer beyond that her feelings just spontaneously changed.
Welcoming failure
One of the goal setting tips given for this venture is to welcome failure. I didn’t meet my goal of completing my list by February 1, 2009, but that’s okay. It’s made me think about really what this list means. While I do plan to actually accomplish the vast majority of these goals, I think the list is much more a tool to see just how much you can accomplish. Through pursuing these goals, I will have more experiences and achieve more than I could ever put on a list. So failure is not the worst thing in the world because the goals are not the end game of this process. They are, in my understanding of this challenge, a gateway to things that I never could have thought of. My journey doesn’t end when I cross a goal off my list; in fact, I think that’s much more of a beginning than anything else.
Accidental Accomplishments
Yesterday, after coming back from seeing The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, while getting into my car I noticed that the gas cap of the car next to me was completely open and unscrewed. Without thinking about my list, I screwed it back on, and it was only after the fact that I realized I had started on my goal to give a gift or do a favor for three random people. My mom said afterwards that she had noticed it as well, but hadn’t fixed it. If she had, I wouldn’t have been able to start on that goal. I’m really blown away by how many opportunities to complete my goals I’ve been presented with since I made the list. It’s amazing what putting the energy out there will do.
Betty Carter’s Jazz Ahead Program
I went to a New Year’s party last night at the home of Carmen Lundy, a well-established jazz singer originally based in New York but now living out here in L.A. There was a brief jam session, where I played a beat-up horn with no second-valve cap, a sticky third valve, and tubing that was in serious need of cleaning. It was successful at least in that it impressed a number of people, probably least of which being Carmen, but I don’t think I played very impressively anyway. Talking with her afterwards, I learned about Betty Carter’s Jazz Ahead program, run out of the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. It’s targeted specifically towards player/composers younger than 30, and according to Carmen, who’s been one of the instructors there for the past 10 years, it’s helped a number of young performers and composers get discovered, and some have even been featured on records made by the instructors. In light of this information, I have added the goal to be accepted into this program in 2010 (applications are due in November 2009). I have really good feelings about this. This will also give me the opportunity to focus my composing on jazz, since I’ve been getting a little overwhelmed with the number of very far-reaching, more classical ideas I’ve been trying to realize. My extensive experience with jazz (compared to classical music) makes it a lot easier and more natural for me to sit down and write a head and some chords, and it provides much more immediate satisfaction since a piece gets completed a lot faster than if I were writing a symphony, just like how I’m focusing more on writing a novella to start with, rather than going for the 700-page encyclopedic novel. By working towards this goal, I’ll also complete my goal of making a demo CD, which will double as my audition material for the program, and, if I’m accepted, I’ll also have my music performed live. It’s sort of astounding me just how many goals seem to be presenting themselves as within the realm of possibility since I’ve made this list (and I’m not even finished with it yet!). If I continue to devote the same amount of energy to these goals over the next 1000 days, I can only imagine how easily they’ll fall into place.
Facebook Sabbatical
The failure today of my one-week Facebook sabbatical shows just how much I really need it. However, I think part of the reason I had so much difficulty was that now, while I’m home, I really have no other way to interact with people other than my parents. At school, there are people all around me all the time and I can just walk down to my friends’ doors and give a knock to feel connected, but here I’m kind of alone. Given the recent upheavals in my social life, I felt that it might be healthier to take my break from Facebook while I’m at school so I don’t feel quite so lonely.
Day 1
Today my challenge begins. I’m already on my way with a number of goals, beginning my week without Facebook and my 21 uninterrupted days of taking my remedy, and having already completed my goal to write a letter to myself 10 years from now. Many of my other goals, such as writing a novel and learning various languages, have been in progress for a while now, but I hope to finish them during the next 1,001 days. I suppose the first order of business is to finish the list, since I’m a little less than 40 items short. I think I need to start thinking a little more big picture, and maybe try to think of things that aren’t exactly in the front of my mind at the moment but will become necessary as I come closer to September 2011. I plan to update this blog as often as necessary to report on things related to my progress towards all these goals, which, since they are extremely varied, means the blog will be pretty eclectic in terms of topic.
I should also explain the reason behind so much of this 21 days nonsense. What I’m trying to do is form habits. According to Dr. Maxwell Maltz in his book Psycho-Cybernetics, it takes 21 days of doing an action consistently in order to form a habit. Since I need to be able to quantify these goals, that’s the number I’m putting on them in the hopes that I will continue them after the 21 days, obviously.
I’m very excited for what’s to come. This promises to be a truly life-changing experience, I think, and one I will most likely start again at the end of the 1001 days. There is much more to come.
101 Things – 1001 Days
The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).
Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past – frequently simple goals such as New Year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.
Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.
2. Stay Focused. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.
3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.
4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.
5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.
